I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
