i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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