Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
