i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
