Don't you send me to vm
just tell him i said nine months
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
