i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
