i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
