I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He did a backflip because drugs
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