I just pynch a tree in the face
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
