I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
