i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
