names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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