Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
this just has baby written all over it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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