I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
