Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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