and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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