Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
