Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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