I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
