Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
did i just pee glitter
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
