i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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