i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
