tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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