She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Boobs are out for the taking
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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