you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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