I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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