How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
