So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
