Don't you send me to vm
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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