Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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