wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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