Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
