Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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