Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
