I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
