I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Found your dick twin last night
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
