I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
