Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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