Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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