he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
