his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
