Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize