The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
