hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
