its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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