I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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