I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize