Can Purell be used as lube?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
