were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We left an ass print on the piano.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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