i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
