and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
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