You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
