I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
