dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
