I want to walk on stilts...naked
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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