I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
