In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
