There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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