woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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